Moved By Love- My Experience at the August Retreat At E.S.I Sughad, Amdehbad.

The decision to attend the Moved By Love retreat was a very intuitive decision. I have been wanting to go for a while now, but could not fit it into my schedule. However, this time around, I registered without giving it a second thought and there I was, ready to fly to Amdehbad for three days of the unexpected.

The retreat was scheduled for 30,31st August and the 1^st of September. I took a flight out of Bangalore on the 29^th evening, and reached Amdehbad at around 10.00pm. I was met by Neerad, one of the Moved By Love volunteers and we hugged as soon as we saw each other. It was as if I've known him all my life. I felt so connected. He drove me to the venue, the Environmental Sanitation Institude, Sughad. It was quiet and peaceful there, and he showed me my room. The surprises began there, as there were beautiful welcome gifts laid out on my bed, by invisible hands. I was delighted and moved.

Day 1- Head Day

I was woken at 6.00am by two men walking around the campus singing songs and playing a small hand drum. This is something that prevails from the time of Gandhi, where he and his companions sang happy songs to wake people up in the morning. It was a beautiful start to the day. The first activity on the agenda was to spend one hour silence and there was this beautiful meditation kuti, made out of wood laid out above a pond. You could hear the sounds of the fish leaping in and out of the water, as you meditated. It was a joy, staying silent, and not fighting the thoughts that kept coming, in fact merely accepting them and letting go was easier.

It was time for breakfast and there were volunteers serving us food, and there were beautiful Rangoli that had been created by them. This breakfast was a breakthrough point for me, because I ate Papaya after almost 20 years. I was served Papaya, and somehow I couldn't bring my self to say ' No'. I ate it, and I did not feel any repulsion and it did not taste too bad either. The food was so tasty, wholesome yet so simple. I disovered that you do not have to eat a huge amount to feel content, but a little, made with a great deal of love, was enough to make you feel full, but not sluggish. There were also conversations that took place while having breakfast, and it felt good to connect with different people.

The three days of the retreat was divided into the head day, hands day, and the heart day. The first day was the head day. We met at the ' Maitri Room' for the first session for the day. It began with different prayer songs, and there was also an interfaith prayer which really moved me. It included prayers from all the major religions. I had goosebumps by the time that prayer ended. There was a round of introductions next with the participants talking about a turning point in their lives which led them to service. There were folks from Brazil, Israel, USA, and different parts of India. It was beautiful, the feeling of community and friendship because it is a common calling that brought us all together. The calling of service.It was heartwarming and inspiring to hear stories that were shared in the circle by different people. They were stories of courage, love, gratitude and selfless service. You can sometimes learn more about life by just listening to the life experiences of fellow human beings rather by listening to a lecture in a classroom. It gives one perspective, and listening with an open heart and an open mind, can do wonders in a setting like this. Sharing in a space that is filled with care and love also allows you to open up and not hold back, and that makes a huge difference.

The next part of the day involved brainstorming about different aspects of service. There was an interesting presentation made to stimulate discussion on service, and the work of a Gandhian economist, J.C.Kumarappa was mentioned. He wrote a book titled ' Economy of Permanence' and in that book he spoke about five different economies.

Predatory and Parasitic Economies, both for individual gain. Enterprise Economy, which basically meant, me vs the world. There was also the Gregarian Economy which had a condition of belongingness to it and was not unconditional in nature and finally a Service Economy which thrived on unconditional love. It was interesting to reflect on these different economies and one might argue that all these types of economies are important for survival, but a service economy might just make the world a brighter place.

There were also three important questions that we needed to reflect on in groups.

i. Leading with external impact vs Inner Transformation?

ii. How do small acts compare with structured projects?

Iii. Is service due to an inner calling or external observation?

We discussed these questions in groups and there were different viewpoints that came up. The responses were interesting to ponder upon and its also important to realize how small is also extremely important, just as structured service projects are. In my opinion, small leads to big, and big leads back to small again. We then rejoined the larger circle to summarize our views and share them with each other.

Next on the agenda, was to spend an hour in silence. We had the choice to sit within the circle or to go out and spend time with nature in silence. I chose the latter and spent time doing walking meditation and some writing. It felt really pleasent and peaceful and it offered me the opportunity to introspect. The hour of silence culminated with a mindful walk around the E.S.I campus, just being completely present with everything around us. There were the slight tickle of leaves brushing against you as you walked, the feel of the breeze on your face, the different aromas that floated in the air. I was fully aware and mindful about my surroundings and I just simply walked. The walk ended with us being welcomed for a mindful dinner in silence by volunteers who welcomed us with a traditional kum kum on our foreheads with a hug included. We sat in silence, while we were served by the volunteers, and just spent time in gratitude for the food we recieved. We ate in complete silence and the experience was so beautiful. The food tasted so good, and I experienced every morsel of food that I swallowed. It was a fantastic experience. We watched a movie next about a young boy who had been given months to live, and the short filmed portrayed how he strived to do things he wanted to in those last few months and went about making others happy too. It was a wonderful end to a beautiful day.:)

Day 2- Hands Day

The day began with an hour of silence, spent in meditation. It was a positive start to the day and next came a good hearty breakfast filled with nutritious fruits and other gujarati dishes. There was a conversation with Jayesh Bhai ( one of the founders of Manav Sadhna in Amdehbad)- Google for more information. He spoke to us about his father Ishwar kaka and his work to provide sanitation facilities for the people of Gujarat. He made over a lakh of toilets all around Gujarat and also used human waste to create bio-gas and manure. It was a conversation high with emotion but I could not connect fully because of the language bareer. There was translation being provided, but the emotional component was lost. A tiny broom was pinned on our shirts as a symbol of the work Ishwar Kaka did, and Jayesh Bhai gave us each some manure made out of human waste. It was a powerful, defining moment, to hold manure made out of 'human shit' so to speak, in your bare hands.

Since, day 2 was hands day, we decided to break into small groups and go out of the campus and do random acts of service. I was in a group that decided to go to a village nearby and offer service in whatever way we could. Others in the group took nail cutters,hair oil,shoe polish etc to offer service and when we arrived at the village, some of us decided to go to the pre-school and spend time with the children there while some others went to some of the houses in the village to offer service. We went to the preschool and the one's who spoke Gujarati began interacting with the little children. I looked around, and saw that there were some older kids around, so I invited them to play some cricket. We played cricket with a rotten branch from a tree and a tennis ball. It was a great fun, and it felt good to run around. I then decided to make use of my skills in first aid, and give the pre-school teacher some basic training. So, with the help of another participant who knew Hindi, I managed to teach her the basics of wound management, CPR, burn management, treatment for electricution, shock, and also the management of fractures and fainting. I used one of the staff members of E.S.I as a dummy to demonstrate some of the methods involved. I also showed the teacher how to transport an injured person. It was very fulfilling and at the same time a lot of fun.

Our attention was next drawn to one small girl, who appeared not to be blinking. She was mute according to the teacher and did not interact with the other children at the pre-school. There was a doctor amongst us and it was his notion that she might have gone through some trauma in her life. It was lunch time and she was not eating her food, and I was not concerned at first, and could not establish contact with her since I did not speak the language. Later, I was just standing near the pre-school entrance and just kept smiling at her. She glanced at me, and I just kept on smiling. I felt something pull me towards her and I sat down beside her. I could not talk to her, neither did she say anything, so I just started singing to her, in Sinhalese and English and the song did not really matter. I kept singing, and while singing I began to feed her morsel by morsel and she let me feed her without resisting. It was such a beautiful moment, and it is something that I will always remember. I was sad to leave her, but we had to move on to the Kabir Ashram where another batch of participants had prepared a yummy lunch for us. The ashram was small, and peaceful. There were some monks who lived there. We ate together, washed up and then went back to E.S.I to rest. Bhumi, Pranit and Deepa, three people who I got really close to during the retreat and I spent the time chatting and singing. It was a lovely way to connect further. We still remain in touch.

The evening consisted of us visiting Manav Sadhna, an NGO started by Jayesh Bhai and others to uplift the underpriviledged just through love ( http://manavsadhna.org/) Visit for more information. We were given an introduction about Ishwar Kaka's work and also saw the toilet garden that was created. There were so many different versions of toilets portrayed and they were all products of scientific research. There was also a toilet cafe in the making, where the chairs and everything else were made out of toilet seats etc. It was quite an unique experience. We moved on to visit the Gandhi Ashram, and interacted with some of the children there in the ashram school. It was a beautiful place, so serene and peaceful and it felt somewhat weird to imagine that Mahatma Gandhi would have been walking around this very place many years ago. It was a special visit.

Now comes the most special part of the day. Seva Cafe, Amdehbad (http://www.movedbylove.org/projects/sevacafe/) where people are served food based on a gift economy. The guests are handed a bill at the end of the meal which reads Rs.0.00. Why? Because someone else has already paid for their meal. They are therefore encouraged to pay it forward by contributing whatever they feel like for the next persons meal. Amazing concept isn't it? The food for us were cooked and served by a lovely bunch of volunteers and the food was out of this world. There were all sorts of dishes, ice cream, cake etc and it was a lovely meal. There was also a bit of music performed at the end of Seva Cafe by the retreat participants. Nimo ( an amazing rapper, who made it big in the USA) performed some of his originals from the band KARMACY) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qlFdeJL_3Y), and he rapped in Gujarati, Spanish and English. It was mindblowing. We also had Pooja sing a lovely prayer for us. Next up was a mini concert in which I performed a few songs and it included a new version of the all time favourite Old McDonald, and of course you cannot forget Surangani. It was an awesome evening. We went back to E.S.I and walking into my bedroom, I found a bunch of gifts left on my bed by some invisible hands again. What a way to end the day right?

Day 3- Hearts Day

The day began with meditation again and then breakfast. There was a group session at the Maitri Hall on daily practices of kindness and service. Random gifts with SMILE cards attached also kept appearing in all corners and this added to the beauty of the entire retreat. People just gave so unconditionally and freely. We gave in whatever way we could. People also kept getting letters of love delivered to them. The session included a part about Rev.Heng Sure, a Buddhist monk in Berkely who amazed the world by walking from California to Los Angeles and all he did during the entire walk, was take three steps, and the bow in gratitude for all the world had offered him. His walk was a prayer for world peace. He was offered protection by another monk who was a black belt martial artist and he also joined Rev.Sure in his gratitude walk. He walked the entire distance just doing the exact same thing, taking three steps and bowing. We did the same thing around a beautiful pond at E.S.I. We walked three steps, and bowed our heads on the ground in gratitude for all the people in our lives and for the universe. It was a mind shifting experience, and the connection I felt when I laid my forehead on the ground was simply magical. I felt an energy sore through me.

There was a final round of sharing after the gratitude walk and then it was lunch and then I had to get set to head to the airport. Neerad dropped me and a few others who also had flights around the same time, and even at the airport, a participant found the opportunity to do something nice for me. We were talking about her work with Mohamed Yunus, the father of Gramin Banks and she suddenly dissapeared inside a book store and came out with his book “ Banker to the Poor' and gifted it to me. It was so random, yet so profound. I am so grateful. The flight back home was good, and after chatting to the guy sitting next to me on the plane, I discovered that his girl-friend is my classmate, so we ended up taking the same airport bus and the same auto rickshaw home. How, random can the universe get?

So, here's my version of things that happened at the Moved By love Retreat, Amdehbad, Aug/Sep, 2013. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it all down.