A constant scowl
weighs
her down
in chilly
light
wind.
Like a heavy kite
being pulled down
one tug at a time.
weighs
her down
in chilly
light
wind.
Like a heavy kite
being pulled down
one tug at a time.
Monday 22 July 2013
The Rescuer
She,
tries,tugs,pulls,yanks
twiddles,squabbles,
patronizing
the one
who doesn't want
to be patronized.
tries,tugs,pulls,yanks
twiddles,squabbles,
patronizing
the one
who doesn't want
to be patronized.
Monday 15 July 2013
5-4 MICU
[half of it written a couple of weeks back]
Screams and dreams make the space i now occupy. A little room shoved away from reality, and yet, experiencing a harsh reality of its own. The Intensive Care Unit Waiting Room is often witness to relentless waiting, occasional break-downs of bystanders, and less often, signs of relief, smiles, and little jokes shared to ease the tension, ripple the deadly calm whilst fear reigns within.
People come, people go. New faces, old faces, beautiful faces, tired faces, all in silent anticipation of the result of a dear one's fight against the dying of light. Hope, and despair. Desperate belief. And some others in cold acceptance. People inside an adjacent clinical and lab-like space are kept alive by machines of human creation; life, the sheer will to survive.
Meanwhile, a worry quickly pushed aside for its septitude is that of the ticking money counter. ICU, ventilator, dialysis, constant monitoring, top-of-the-line doctors and care, lab analytics... Urea-Creatinine, Thrombin-Prothrombin, Creatine Kinase, Reactive C Protein, platlet count... Thirty thousand a day, a thousand two-fifty an hour, twenty a minute. Money for life. Service for life. Institutions with opportunities for service and profit, for life.
Life? A minor cosmic accident? The universe's consciousness of itself?
Consciousness? A mere accidental product/property/emergence of some bosons, quarks and leptons, forming atoms, forming molecules, forming hydrocarbons, forming proteins, forming cells, connecting with each other, creating a network, with Sodium and Potassium gateways giving out electrical blips?
Sadness, love? The natural selection of humans to ensure parents long for children, and vice-verse, ensuring survival and making us the fittest?
Are we to live our lives eating, drinking, sleeping, excreting (i.e. metabolising), having sex, creating offspring, caring for them, so that they can eat, drink, sleep, excrete, have sex, create offspring, care for them, so that they in turn can eat drink, sleep...?
Meanwhile, the life we were sentinels for slowly slipped away; into peaceness, or nothingness. i mourn for you, our dear little sister.
Screams and dreams make the space i now occupy. A little room shoved away from reality, and yet, experiencing a harsh reality of its own. The Intensive Care Unit Waiting Room is often witness to relentless waiting, occasional break-downs of bystanders, and less often, signs of relief, smiles, and little jokes shared to ease the tension, ripple the deadly calm whilst fear reigns within.
People come, people go. New faces, old faces, beautiful faces, tired faces, all in silent anticipation of the result of a dear one's fight against the dying of light. Hope, and despair. Desperate belief. And some others in cold acceptance. People inside an adjacent clinical and lab-like space are kept alive by machines of human creation; life, the sheer will to survive.
Meanwhile, a worry quickly pushed aside for its septitude is that of the ticking money counter. ICU, ventilator, dialysis, constant monitoring, top-of-the-line doctors and care, lab analytics... Urea-Creatinine, Thrombin-Prothrombin, Creatine Kinase, Reactive C Protein, platlet count... Thirty thousand a day, a thousand two-fifty an hour, twenty a minute. Money for life. Service for life. Institutions with opportunities for service and profit, for life.
Life? A minor cosmic accident? The universe's consciousness of itself?
Consciousness? A mere accidental product/property/emergence of some bosons, quarks and leptons, forming atoms, forming molecules, forming hydrocarbons, forming proteins, forming cells, connecting with each other, creating a network, with Sodium and Potassium gateways giving out electrical blips?
Sadness, love? The natural selection of humans to ensure parents long for children, and vice-verse, ensuring survival and making us the fittest?
Are we to live our lives eating, drinking, sleeping, excreting (i.e. metabolising), having sex, creating offspring, caring for them, so that they can eat, drink, sleep, excrete, have sex, create offspring, care for them, so that they in turn can eat drink, sleep...?
Meanwhile, the life we were sentinels for slowly slipped away; into peaceness, or nothingness. i mourn for you, our dear little sister.
Sunday 14 July 2013
Awakin/ Djembe/ Bongo Cajon/ Darbuka/ Love/ Smiles/ Peace/ Generosity- My Beautiful Sunday
Today, was such a beautiful day and it its not over yet:)
I hosted an awakin gathering this morning at Atta Galatta, Koramangala. It began at 11.30am with 6 of us going into meditation and we stayed still, meditative, silent, for one hour and there was a sense of immense calm, love and peace present in the space where we sat. We then shared reflections and the morning ended with a nice cup of hot chai and biscuits and small samosa lookalike snacks:).
What a way to start the week! :)
Next... Percussion Jamm:)
Ganesh and I started playing the djembe and the Bongo Cajon (BC) and went wild and free as usual. I felt so good, just letting go, letting the 'BC' take me on a journey. Swethank joined us a little later with his darbuka and then the music only intensified. The high moments were some of the best one could have, and the moments when the music mellowed were also soothing and restful. There was so much freedom.
We had lunch/tea/supper at 4.30pm at the Peace Restaurant in Koramangala ( how apt). Aloo Phing with mushrooms and black fungi, stir fried beef with tofu, schezwan fried rice, noodles, momo's , Maza, Pepsi, Tea were the food/beverage items that we gobbled up.
An awesome day with amazing people.
I hosted an awakin gathering this morning at Atta Galatta, Koramangala. It began at 11.30am with 6 of us going into meditation and we stayed still, meditative, silent, for one hour and there was a sense of immense calm, love and peace present in the space where we sat. We then shared reflections and the morning ended with a nice cup of hot chai and biscuits and small samosa lookalike snacks:).
What a way to start the week! :)
Next... Percussion Jamm:)
Ganesh and I started playing the djembe and the Bongo Cajon (BC) and went wild and free as usual. I felt so good, just letting go, letting the 'BC' take me on a journey. Swethank joined us a little later with his darbuka and then the music only intensified. The high moments were some of the best one could have, and the moments when the music mellowed were also soothing and restful. There was so much freedom.
We had lunch/tea/supper at 4.30pm at the Peace Restaurant in Koramangala ( how apt). Aloo Phing with mushrooms and black fungi, stir fried beef with tofu, schezwan fried rice, noodles, momo's , Maza, Pepsi, Tea were the food/beverage items that we gobbled up.
An awesome day with amazing people.
Saturday 13 July 2013
The Bongo Cajon- My New Found Love
I visited 'Veena Musicals' in Jayanagar, Bangalore with a friend on the spur of the moment. There was no plan, except that he wanted a new guitar case. On we purred on a purring Royal Enfield, my behind 'brrrrrring' comfortably. We 'krrrrr'ed' into the small porch in front of the store and off we got. The shop had a simple look to it and while my friend began to converse with the shop 'guy' I took off to explore the different percussion instruments available. I played a djembe, a darbuka, a djembe again but somehow my gaze went to a wooden thing that looked like a shoe shelf lying on a shelf in the store. I had no clue. The 'guy' told me it was a 'bongo cajon'. ' Ding' then it struck me, it was a smaller version of the Cajon and could be played like a bongo between your thighs.Interesting isn't it?
I played, tripped, played,tripped, played, tripped, smiled, tripped, played, tripped, and then everything from the lovely wooden finish to the sleek black surface and the beautiful sounds it produced, just drew me into its core being. It was love at first site, I loved the feel of it, the smell of it, and yeah, as you can probably imagine, I bought it. Off we 'krrrr'ed' into the dark roads of Jayanagar, and my dear friend dropped me off somewhere close to home.
Now, comes the most amazing part. I tripped all night on my 'Bongo Cajon'. I slapped, touched, poked, it in different ways and every slap or poke elicited a nice,unique sound. It was delightful to play it while listening to music. I was still raw yesterday, trying to get the hang of it. I like experimenting with instruments, learning them on my own, because teachers never worked for me except when I learnt the keyboard. Most of the instruments I know I learnt either by being taught the basics by a family member, or just picking it up totally on my own. I am determined to pick the ' BC' as I will call it from now, on my own too.
I came home today after quite a tough, tiring day and first thing I did was play the ' BC'. I played different beats, and vented all my pent up negative energy channelling it into creating something positive out of the drum. It is such a mind blowing experience, and I got lost in the 'BC'. It took over, I let it take over, it led me, my hands just followed, fingers themselves just moved, everything worked in synchrony and that was an awe-striking moment. It became a part of me, my being and it was as if, it was soothing me, knowingly. The 'BC' absorbed all my energy and transformed that into something so refreshing. I feel rejuvenated, and I am so grateful for that beautiful instrument and I am looking forward to it blending with other musicians playing their instruments soon.
And...yes, It is my new found love.
I played, tripped, played,tripped, played, tripped, smiled, tripped, played, tripped, and then everything from the lovely wooden finish to the sleek black surface and the beautiful sounds it produced, just drew me into its core being. It was love at first site, I loved the feel of it, the smell of it, and yeah, as you can probably imagine, I bought it. Off we 'krrrr'ed' into the dark roads of Jayanagar, and my dear friend dropped me off somewhere close to home.
Now, comes the most amazing part. I tripped all night on my 'Bongo Cajon'. I slapped, touched, poked, it in different ways and every slap or poke elicited a nice,unique sound. It was delightful to play it while listening to music. I was still raw yesterday, trying to get the hang of it. I like experimenting with instruments, learning them on my own, because teachers never worked for me except when I learnt the keyboard. Most of the instruments I know I learnt either by being taught the basics by a family member, or just picking it up totally on my own. I am determined to pick the ' BC' as I will call it from now, on my own too.
I came home today after quite a tough, tiring day and first thing I did was play the ' BC'. I played different beats, and vented all my pent up negative energy channelling it into creating something positive out of the drum. It is such a mind blowing experience, and I got lost in the 'BC'. It took over, I let it take over, it led me, my hands just followed, fingers themselves just moved, everything worked in synchrony and that was an awe-striking moment. It became a part of me, my being and it was as if, it was soothing me, knowingly. The 'BC' absorbed all my energy and transformed that into something so refreshing. I feel rejuvenated, and I am so grateful for that beautiful instrument and I am looking forward to it blending with other musicians playing their instruments soon.
And...yes, It is my new found love.
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