It's a bird! It's a plane! No. It's a JRF flying away.

If you will dance with me to the rhythm of reason
humbly we can turn the waltz
Toward a life of liberation,
meaning and inspired action.

{ A meaningless exercise suddenly ended
leaves a sour aftertaste of disappointment
and that all too familiar sense of despair;
It claims 'tshall measure my life in shaded bubbles;
If worthy thee, oh unworthy me, oh unworthy me! }

In my world, space is not made, 'tis claimed
On worth of plausibility, coherence, consistency.
We stand on shoulders
of folk who are boulders
who stand on other shoulders.
Shoulders not of people, but -
Ideas - and their kith and kin.

There is the infinite continuum;
(In principle inconceivable that we know all that be,
and therefore 'tis infinite.)
For us, unlimited, though perchance warped,
connections forming small blots of packed waves,
Where, to be is to be connected
(not its esse, no; but merely the way we operate).

We are eagles who leave our trails,
(and this, perchance, we have not yet with contend)
For what effects our flights prime.

But here we are, the whole world open,
Ease yourself, ankle squint,
and then,
take flight, take flight, take flight...

Night Sky at Majestic

The sky was an easel
waiting,
to be painted on
with twinkling stars,
a golden moon,
and I splashed,
red,yellow and blue
everywhere.

Was the sky angry?
I didn't stick around
to show I care.

Blown Away on Sri Lankan Airlines UL 171

Beautiful things seem to happen to me inside air planes.

I returned to Bangalore from my homeland yesterday and when I got onto the airport bus at the beginning of the journey, to be taken to the air plane, I glanced at a familiar face but did not make contact as I was not sure. However on a second glance, she spoke up " Hey! How are you?" she asked and then I went over to her and began to talk to her, though I was still unsure as to who she really was. Her name was Smriti and she was travelling with her mother. We parted ways at the entrance of the air craft and I went ahead and found my seat, 8A to be precise.

I was sorting out my hand luggage when Smriti and her mother approached the same row and they sat down on the two seats next to me. Now, how random is that? I was totally smiling.

We all attended to the nitty gritty of flight safety and then Smriti decides to completely blow me away.

" I must thank you again for your lifesaving skills"

I obviously had no clue as to what she was talking about and managed a confused ' huh?'.

" Ya, you saved my life once in my first year of college. You probably wont remember".

It hit me then, " Oh! in the pathway...." was all I could say and she just smiled.

Smriti had an allergic reaction to a medicine she had taken and was semi-conscious and lying prone on the university pathway when I happened to walk by, and I stopped to help as I was trained in first aid.
This was more than four years ago and yet she remembered me and ended up sitting next to me on the flight.

How does one explain things like this?

A life I touched years ago touched me so profoundly yesterday and a connection just blossomed out of it. I am amazed at the beauty of the universe and at how things occur and we all connect. It's just so very beautiful and almost surreal.

We are all interconnected and touch each other's lives one way or the other

Esse

[- est percipi?]

With open arms in the moonlight I behold the universe and cry, "What is your purpose? Why do you exist?" And with its characteristic silence, the universe replies, silence.

What is it indeed to exist? Life sciences hint towards survival and reproduction. Physics, towards symmetry. Spirituality towards a romantic universal. Ethics towards Kantian deontology. Philosophy yearns after the nature of existence. And yet, no one can give an answer which is complete, which is indeed characteristic of all answers. As theorised in Jaina naya, each one can but nimbly offer a part.

The universe, in all scientific probability that our knowledge can muster, has no purpose in the human sense of that word. It does not exist for a reason, things do not happen for a reason, it does not proceed towards any vision, aim or goal; reason here being a preordained or a divined process. There is, however, something to be believed in causality, and the expansion of the universe.

*

Softly, I remind myself, we have one life. Carpe diem. But if the day has not been seized in manners that doth not please, worry not; 'tis not to be frothed in worry, days be; they be.

That's the best I can come up with right now.

Wounded Animal

It drags its broken feet with it, as it crawls on three limbs, for it cannot leave the foot behind. It is in pain; but not for a moment fades its instinctual process of sniffing the environs for food and danger. It creeps slowly on.

It comes across a prey and gives chase; only to find that its prey is far better at the game, especially with the handicap.

A little ahead, it comes across a chunk of rotting; could be flesh, could be a tree bark; either way, it sinks its claws into the chunk. Food is food.

The wounded animal crawls gently by the spring. It laps a few gulps of cool water. It lies next to a stone upon which the water splashes and scatters. A bouquet of fern provides shade from the moonlight. It looks, head skewed, towards the starred night sky, eyebrows hunched. Its snout is still wet. It's not dying. But deeply wounded.

It has the choice of its future: a romantic unfurling, or the physico-biological next.

'Tis the wounded animal. What shall it do with its wound? Tend it? But will the wound decay?

It turns its head towards its broken leg. With compassion, it licks its leg, soothing the pain. It rests its head between its front paws, keeps a ear up, letting the other one droop, closes its eyes, and goes to sleep.

To begin

Where do we begin?

We begin at thought.
We begin at the universe's consciousness (awareness) of itself.

Each block we set upon this rock. This is the rock. This is the foundation.

And as far as the mind's eye can see, for no purpose or reason; purely for existence.

Moved By Love- My Experience at the August Retreat At E.S.I Sughad, Amdehbad.

The decision to attend the Moved By Love retreat was a very intuitive decision. I have been wanting to go for a while now, but could not fit it into my schedule. However, this time around, I registered without giving it a second thought and there I was, ready to fly to Amdehbad for three days of the unexpected.

The retreat was scheduled for 30,31st August and the 1^st of September. I took a flight out of Bangalore on the 29^th evening, and reached Amdehbad at around 10.00pm. I was met by Neerad, one of the Moved By Love volunteers and we hugged as soon as we saw each other. It was as if I've known him all my life. I felt so connected. He drove me to the venue, the Environmental Sanitation Institude, Sughad. It was quiet and peaceful there, and he showed me my room. The surprises began there, as there were beautiful welcome gifts laid out on my bed, by invisible hands. I was delighted and moved.

Day 1- Head Day

I was woken at 6.00am by two men walking around the campus singing songs and playing a small hand drum. This is something that prevails from the time of Gandhi, where he and his companions sang happy songs to wake people up in the morning. It was a beautiful start to the day. The first activity on the agenda was to spend one hour silence and there was this beautiful meditation kuti, made out of wood laid out above a pond. You could hear the sounds of the fish leaping in and out of the water, as you meditated. It was a joy, staying silent, and not fighting the thoughts that kept coming, in fact merely accepting them and letting go was easier.

It was time for breakfast and there were volunteers serving us food, and there were beautiful Rangoli that had been created by them. This breakfast was a breakthrough point for me, because I ate Papaya after almost 20 years. I was served Papaya, and somehow I couldn't bring my self to say ' No'. I ate it, and I did not feel any repulsion and it did not taste too bad either. The food was so tasty, wholesome yet so simple. I disovered that you do not have to eat a huge amount to feel content, but a little, made with a great deal of love, was enough to make you feel full, but not sluggish. There were also conversations that took place while having breakfast, and it felt good to connect with different people.

The three days of the retreat was divided into the head day, hands day, and the heart day. The first day was the head day. We met at the ' Maitri Room' for the first session for the day. It began with different prayer songs, and there was also an interfaith prayer which really moved me. It included prayers from all the major religions. I had goosebumps by the time that prayer ended. There was a round of introductions next with the participants talking about a turning point in their lives which led them to service. There were folks from Brazil, Israel, USA, and different parts of India. It was beautiful, the feeling of community and friendship because it is a common calling that brought us all together. The calling of service.It was heartwarming and inspiring to hear stories that were shared in the circle by different people. They were stories of courage, love, gratitude and selfless service. You can sometimes learn more about life by just listening to the life experiences of fellow human beings rather by listening to a lecture in a classroom. It gives one perspective, and listening with an open heart and an open mind, can do wonders in a setting like this. Sharing in a space that is filled with care and love also allows you to open up and not hold back, and that makes a huge difference.

The next part of the day involved brainstorming about different aspects of service. There was an interesting presentation made to stimulate discussion on service, and the work of a Gandhian economist, J.C.Kumarappa was mentioned. He wrote a book titled ' Economy of Permanence' and in that book he spoke about five different economies.

Predatory and Parasitic Economies, both for individual gain. Enterprise Economy, which basically meant, me vs the world. There was also the Gregarian Economy which had a condition of belongingness to it and was not unconditional in nature and finally a Service Economy which thrived on unconditional love. It was interesting to reflect on these different economies and one might argue that all these types of economies are important for survival, but a service economy might just make the world a brighter place.

There were also three important questions that we needed to reflect on in groups.

i. Leading with external impact vs Inner Transformation?

ii. How do small acts compare with structured projects?

Iii. Is service due to an inner calling or external observation?

We discussed these questions in groups and there were different viewpoints that came up. The responses were interesting to ponder upon and its also important to realize how small is also extremely important, just as structured service projects are. In my opinion, small leads to big, and big leads back to small again. We then rejoined the larger circle to summarize our views and share them with each other.

Next on the agenda, was to spend an hour in silence. We had the choice to sit within the circle or to go out and spend time with nature in silence. I chose the latter and spent time doing walking meditation and some writing. It felt really pleasent and peaceful and it offered me the opportunity to introspect. The hour of silence culminated with a mindful walk around the E.S.I campus, just being completely present with everything around us. There were the slight tickle of leaves brushing against you as you walked, the feel of the breeze on your face, the different aromas that floated in the air. I was fully aware and mindful about my surroundings and I just simply walked. The walk ended with us being welcomed for a mindful dinner in silence by volunteers who welcomed us with a traditional kum kum on our foreheads with a hug included. We sat in silence, while we were served by the volunteers, and just spent time in gratitude for the food we recieved. We ate in complete silence and the experience was so beautiful. The food tasted so good, and I experienced every morsel of food that I swallowed. It was a fantastic experience. We watched a movie next about a young boy who had been given months to live, and the short filmed portrayed how he strived to do things he wanted to in those last few months and went about making others happy too. It was a wonderful end to a beautiful day.:)

Day 2- Hands Day

The day began with an hour of silence, spent in meditation. It was a positive start to the day and next came a good hearty breakfast filled with nutritious fruits and other gujarati dishes. There was a conversation with Jayesh Bhai ( one of the founders of Manav Sadhna in Amdehbad)- Google for more information. He spoke to us about his father Ishwar kaka and his work to provide sanitation facilities for the people of Gujarat. He made over a lakh of toilets all around Gujarat and also used human waste to create bio-gas and manure. It was a conversation high with emotion but I could not connect fully because of the language bareer. There was translation being provided, but the emotional component was lost. A tiny broom was pinned on our shirts as a symbol of the work Ishwar Kaka did, and Jayesh Bhai gave us each some manure made out of human waste. It was a powerful, defining moment, to hold manure made out of 'human shit' so to speak, in your bare hands.

Since, day 2 was hands day, we decided to break into small groups and go out of the campus and do random acts of service. I was in a group that decided to go to a village nearby and offer service in whatever way we could. Others in the group took nail cutters,hair oil,shoe polish etc to offer service and when we arrived at the village, some of us decided to go to the pre-school and spend time with the children there while some others went to some of the houses in the village to offer service. We went to the preschool and the one's who spoke Gujarati began interacting with the little children. I looked around, and saw that there were some older kids around, so I invited them to play some cricket. We played cricket with a rotten branch from a tree and a tennis ball. It was a great fun, and it felt good to run around. I then decided to make use of my skills in first aid, and give the pre-school teacher some basic training. So, with the help of another participant who knew Hindi, I managed to teach her the basics of wound management, CPR, burn management, treatment for electricution, shock, and also the management of fractures and fainting. I used one of the staff members of E.S.I as a dummy to demonstrate some of the methods involved. I also showed the teacher how to transport an injured person. It was very fulfilling and at the same time a lot of fun.

Our attention was next drawn to one small girl, who appeared not to be blinking. She was mute according to the teacher and did not interact with the other children at the pre-school. There was a doctor amongst us and it was his notion that she might have gone through some trauma in her life. It was lunch time and she was not eating her food, and I was not concerned at first, and could not establish contact with her since I did not speak the language. Later, I was just standing near the pre-school entrance and just kept smiling at her. She glanced at me, and I just kept on smiling. I felt something pull me towards her and I sat down beside her. I could not talk to her, neither did she say anything, so I just started singing to her, in Sinhalese and English and the song did not really matter. I kept singing, and while singing I began to feed her morsel by morsel and she let me feed her without resisting. It was such a beautiful moment, and it is something that I will always remember. I was sad to leave her, but we had to move on to the Kabir Ashram where another batch of participants had prepared a yummy lunch for us. The ashram was small, and peaceful. There were some monks who lived there. We ate together, washed up and then went back to E.S.I to rest. Bhumi, Pranit and Deepa, three people who I got really close to during the retreat and I spent the time chatting and singing. It was a lovely way to connect further. We still remain in touch.

The evening consisted of us visiting Manav Sadhna, an NGO started by Jayesh Bhai and others to uplift the underpriviledged just through love ( http://manavsadhna.org/) Visit for more information. We were given an introduction about Ishwar Kaka's work and also saw the toilet garden that was created. There were so many different versions of toilets portrayed and they were all products of scientific research. There was also a toilet cafe in the making, where the chairs and everything else were made out of toilet seats etc. It was quite an unique experience. We moved on to visit the Gandhi Ashram, and interacted with some of the children there in the ashram school. It was a beautiful place, so serene and peaceful and it felt somewhat weird to imagine that Mahatma Gandhi would have been walking around this very place many years ago. It was a special visit.

Now comes the most special part of the day. Seva Cafe, Amdehbad (http://www.movedbylove.org/projects/sevacafe/) where people are served food based on a gift economy. The guests are handed a bill at the end of the meal which reads Rs.0.00. Why? Because someone else has already paid for their meal. They are therefore encouraged to pay it forward by contributing whatever they feel like for the next persons meal. Amazing concept isn't it? The food for us were cooked and served by a lovely bunch of volunteers and the food was out of this world. There were all sorts of dishes, ice cream, cake etc and it was a lovely meal. There was also a bit of music performed at the end of Seva Cafe by the retreat participants. Nimo ( an amazing rapper, who made it big in the USA) performed some of his originals from the band KARMACY) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qlFdeJL_3Y), and he rapped in Gujarati, Spanish and English. It was mindblowing. We also had Pooja sing a lovely prayer for us. Next up was a mini concert in which I performed a few songs and it included a new version of the all time favourite Old McDonald, and of course you cannot forget Surangani. It was an awesome evening. We went back to E.S.I and walking into my bedroom, I found a bunch of gifts left on my bed by some invisible hands again. What a way to end the day right?

Day 3- Hearts Day

The day began with meditation again and then breakfast. There was a group session at the Maitri Hall on daily practices of kindness and service. Random gifts with SMILE cards attached also kept appearing in all corners and this added to the beauty of the entire retreat. People just gave so unconditionally and freely. We gave in whatever way we could. People also kept getting letters of love delivered to them. The session included a part about Rev.Heng Sure, a Buddhist monk in Berkely who amazed the world by walking from California to Los Angeles and all he did during the entire walk, was take three steps, and the bow in gratitude for all the world had offered him. His walk was a prayer for world peace. He was offered protection by another monk who was a black belt martial artist and he also joined Rev.Sure in his gratitude walk. He walked the entire distance just doing the exact same thing, taking three steps and bowing. We did the same thing around a beautiful pond at E.S.I. We walked three steps, and bowed our heads on the ground in gratitude for all the people in our lives and for the universe. It was a mind shifting experience, and the connection I felt when I laid my forehead on the ground was simply magical. I felt an energy sore through me.

There was a final round of sharing after the gratitude walk and then it was lunch and then I had to get set to head to the airport. Neerad dropped me and a few others who also had flights around the same time, and even at the airport, a participant found the opportunity to do something nice for me. We were talking about her work with Mohamed Yunus, the father of Gramin Banks and she suddenly dissapeared inside a book store and came out with his book “ Banker to the Poor' and gifted it to me. It was so random, yet so profound. I am so grateful. The flight back home was good, and after chatting to the guy sitting next to me on the plane, I discovered that his girl-friend is my classmate, so we ended up taking the same airport bus and the same auto rickshaw home. How, random can the universe get?

So, here's my version of things that happened at the Moved By love Retreat, Amdehbad, Aug/Sep, 2013. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it all down.

Thought

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habits; thought is anarchic and lawless, indifferent to authority, careless of the well-tried wisdom of the ages. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid ... Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.

Bertrand Russell, Principles of Social Reconstruction, Chapter 5 "Education"

Questions

Philosophy is to be studied, not for the sake of any definite answers to its questions since no definite answers can, as a rule, be known to be true, but rather for the sake of the questions themselves; because these questions enlarge our conception of what is possible, enrich our intellectual imagination and diminish the dogmatic assurance which closes the mind against speculation; but above all because, through the greatness of the universe which philosophy contemplates, the mind also is rendered great, and becomes capable of that union with the universe which constitutes its highest good.

Bertrand Russell, Problems of Philosophy, Chapter XV "The Value of Philosophy"

To an invisible best friend

Come to me, my darling. Let me hold you as you speak; let me hold you as you weep. I yearn to give you my embrace, to give all my loving to you. Because that's all I am good to do.

Come to me, my darling. I may not believe in love so more. But a disillusioned priest cannot his cassock throw. And though belief hath passed, the skill has not. So, come to me, let me hold you as your breast heaves your heart's beats.

Come to me. I can smile and listen to you share your life. We can use words, or stare into each others eyes; and let every thought through. Or you can lean on, as our bodies rub, our skins spread warmth and do the talking instead. We can hold hands, with fingers stealing a prance, or we can laugh over coffee, and a board game too. Or we can go outside and stare at the stars; not be magicked away, but wonder of the infinte space, time, continuum, and the worlds beyond.

We can share our daily cup of trifle and strife. And after that has passed, we can look, realise, smile, and laugh our tears away. With peals of laughter, joy, and fun.

With you by my side, everything is just beautiful and alright; the balls of your palm pressing against mine tell me I'm fine. And you are too. Your eyes, your face, your haze, tell me that it's the same with you; that I am loved, and needed; that you love me too.

Come to me, my darling. Let's run that park. I've got my camera, play-dough, a locket, a cheap bottle of rum, and a ribbon of velvet dark. Let's speak poetry, let's make the night dawn. Let's run into the trees, and sit by the swamp. Let us look up and let the winds take us with them. Let us run into the night, this psychedelic night, with the moon's crazy halo, Venus' glow, photons from light years ago. Let us close our eyes and make the weird bubbles blow. Come with me, my darling. I wait for you... With so much of love... With so much of love... Oh come to me, my darling.

The Red Queen

Today, on the way to the bus: Bye M! You're running whenever I see you!

Fact of existence. You keep running and running to remain on the same spot.

So if you exist, that means you are running... running... running...


Disclaimer: Romantic generalisation.
***
Curious? : Through the Looking Glass - Lewis Carroll, The Red Queen - Matt Ridley, The Red Queen's Race - Isaac Asimov

Weight

A constant scowl
weighs
her down
in chilly
light
wind.
Like a heavy kite
being pulled down
one tug at a time. 

The Rescuer

She,
tries,tugs,pulls,yanks
twiddles,squabbles,
patronizing
the one
who doesn't want
to be patronized. 

5-4 MICU

[half of it written a couple of weeks back]

Screams and dreams make the space i now occupy. A little room shoved away from reality, and yet, experiencing a harsh reality of its own. The Intensive Care Unit Waiting Room is often witness to relentless waiting, occasional break-downs of bystanders, and less often, signs of relief, smiles, and little jokes shared to ease the tension, ripple the deadly calm whilst fear reigns within.

People come, people go. New faces, old faces, beautiful faces, tired faces, all in silent anticipation of the result of a dear one's fight against the dying of light. Hope, and despair. Desperate belief. And some others in cold acceptance. People inside an adjacent clinical and lab-like space are kept alive by machines of human creation; life, the sheer will to survive.

Meanwhile, a worry quickly pushed aside for its septitude is that of the ticking money counter. ICU, ventilator, dialysis, constant monitoring, top-of-the-line doctors and care, lab analytics... Urea-Creatinine, Thrombin-Prothrombin, Creatine Kinase, Reactive C Protein, platlet count... Thirty thousand a day, a thousand two-fifty an hour, twenty a minute. Money for life. Service for life. Institutions with opportunities for service and profit, for life.



Life? A minor cosmic accident? The universe's consciousness of itself?

Consciousness? A mere accidental product/property/emergence of some bosons, quarks and leptons, forming atoms, forming molecules, forming hydrocarbons, forming proteins, forming cells, connecting with each other, creating a network, with Sodium and Potassium gateways giving out electrical blips?

Sadness, love? The natural selection of humans to ensure parents long for children, and vice-verse, ensuring survival and making us the fittest?

Are we to live our lives eating, drinking, sleeping, excreting (i.e. metabolising), having sex, creating offspring, caring for them, so that they can eat, drink, sleep, excrete, have sex, create offspring, care for them, so that they in turn can eat drink, sleep...?


Meanwhile, the life we were sentinels for slowly slipped away; into peaceness, or nothingness. i mourn for you, our dear little sister.

Awakin/ Djembe/ Bongo Cajon/ Darbuka/ Love/ Smiles/ Peace/ Generosity- My Beautiful Sunday

Today, was such a beautiful day and it its not over yet:)

I hosted an awakin gathering this morning at Atta Galatta, Koramangala. It began at 11.30am with 6 of us going into meditation and we stayed still, meditative, silent, for one hour and there was a sense of immense calm, love and peace present in the space where we sat. We then shared reflections and the morning ended with a nice cup of hot chai and biscuits and small samosa lookalike snacks:).

What a way to start the week! :)

Next... Percussion Jamm:)

Ganesh and I started playing the djembe and the Bongo Cajon (BC) and went wild and free as usual. I felt so good, just letting go, letting the 'BC' take me on a journey. Swethank joined us a little later with his darbuka and then the music only intensified. The high moments were some of the best one could have, and the moments when the music mellowed were also soothing and restful. There was so much freedom.

We had lunch/tea/supper at 4.30pm at the Peace Restaurant in Koramangala ( how apt). Aloo Phing with mushrooms and black fungi, stir fried beef with tofu, schezwan fried rice, noodles, momo's , Maza, Pepsi, Tea were the food/beverage items that we gobbled up.

An awesome day with amazing people.

The Bongo Cajon- My New Found Love

I visited 'Veena Musicals' in Jayanagar, Bangalore with a friend on the spur of the moment. There was no plan, except that he wanted a new guitar case. On we purred on a purring Royal Enfield, my behind 'brrrrrring' comfortably. We 'krrrrr'ed' into the small porch in front of the store and off we got. The shop had a simple look to it and while my friend began to converse with the shop 'guy' I took off to explore the different percussion instruments available. I played a djembe, a darbuka, a djembe again but somehow my gaze went to a wooden thing that looked like a shoe shelf lying on a shelf in the store. I had no clue. The 'guy' told me it was a 'bongo cajon'. ' Ding' then it struck me, it was a smaller version of the Cajon and could be played like a bongo between your thighs.Interesting isn't it?

I played, tripped, played,tripped, played, tripped, smiled, tripped, played, tripped, and then everything from the lovely wooden finish to the sleek black surface and the beautiful sounds it produced, just drew me into its core being. It was love at first site, I loved the feel of it, the smell of it, and yeah, as you can probably imagine, I bought it. Off we 'krrrr'ed' into the dark roads of Jayanagar, and my dear friend dropped me off somewhere close to home.

Now, comes the most amazing part. I tripped all night on my 'Bongo Cajon'. I slapped, touched, poked, it in different ways and every slap or poke elicited a nice,unique sound. It was delightful to play it while listening to music. I was still raw yesterday, trying to get the hang of it. I like experimenting with instruments, learning them on my own, because teachers never worked for me except when I learnt the keyboard. Most of the instruments I know I learnt either by being taught the basics by a family member, or just picking it up totally on my own. I am determined to pick the ' BC' as I will call it from now, on my own too.

I came home today after quite a tough, tiring day and first thing I did was play the ' BC'. I played different beats, and vented all my pent up negative energy channelling it into creating something positive out of the drum. It is such a mind blowing experience, and I got lost in the 'BC'. It took over, I let it take over, it led me, my hands just followed, fingers themselves just moved, everything worked in synchrony and that was an awe-striking moment. It became a part of me, my being and it was as if, it was soothing me, knowingly. The 'BC' absorbed all my energy and transformed that into something so refreshing. I feel rejuvenated, and I am so grateful for that beautiful instrument and I am looking forward to it blending with other musicians playing their instruments soon.

And...yes, It is my new found love.

Mo is in town:)

I am recovering from a bout of food poisoning, but... Hey!

                                Mohan is in town!!!

                                 in Bangalore to be precise.

He arrived early on Friday.
It was such a treat to see him again and of course to receive a warm morning hug from him.
That really did make my day.

It feels so good to connect with him, to share our crazy thoughts with each other, and just be. Yes, just be, without any pretense, or the need to put on a show. This is what's awesome about our friendship. We have known each other since 2007, and know each other quite well. Mohan brings with him positive energy, love, warmth and a whole lot of smiles, and this just goes out in ripples to all those around him.

You do feel it, don't you?

Mohan and I have experienced life, lived life and seen life, on mountains, in icy cold water, in classrooms, at camps, on the streets of Bangalore, in hospitals, in kitchens literally for 16 hours, trying to be wannabe hitchhikers ( which was a big fail), on top of rocks,  or just simply, reading distasteful poetry ( mostly me). I guess those experiences have strengthened our friendship so much, that all we can do now is to laugh our heads off while reminiscing about those crazy, beat, wanderings.

Thank you MO! It's lovely having you here:)

A Dream I had, and Asleep I Was.

I was crossing between two giant mountains hand crawling on a rather thin rope.

The valley below seemed an eternity away, so far away, and the thought of falling or your hand just slipping was scary. There was another person ahead of me and in the middle of my crossing over, I got tangled in the rope. My arms and legs were all over the place and there was no getting untangled without help.

I remember the person ahead also loosing his grip and holding onto me. I was holding him by his hand, till a rescue chopper showed up and it lowered a rope. I was still tangled, in a mess, but the other person managed to get himself up on the rope.

I was still tangled and a rescuer was sent down on a harness to untangle me.

That's when I woke up. 

My plant

 

My green leafy companion in the room died. i do not know why it decided to leave me alone, and turn brown, dry up. Was it its time to go? Did it go because i did not give it enough love? Did it die because there was too much Chlorine in the water? i will never know.

It is, after all, so easy for me to cut another couple of leaves and put them in some water. Voila! New green companion to look at, smile, anthropomorphise, and romanticise.

~

i want to spread, stretch my wings, and roar into the air. i wish to dive, as fast as sound, towards the earth; at the last moment, pull up, and scream a heart-wrenching scream; wrench out my heart, bat it with my wing, stream up with the winds, and grow a new one, a one at peace. i wish to look at the world, love, and have the energy to give all my loving to this world, and still save some, to keep loving.

i desire meaning, i desire peace, i desire the end of desire. But my fault is where i desire it with ease.

One day, i shall rise from this embryotic cringe. i shall make meaning where there is none. i shall do what calls me, without fear, without shackles. i shall burn with the fire, move with the earth, cut with the wind, and heal with the water. That day, i shall not be afraid.

(that day, perhaps, i shall know that your death had no meaning. that it is merely how it is. that you did not leave me, you just died.)

Welcome/Velkommen/Swagatham/Ayubowan/ Bienvenida

Welcome to this blog.

Two people, from countries next to each other, and cultures somewhat similar to each other, will scribble down their thoughts, feelings, experiences, and of course those 'beat' moments, where its just the wanderings that matter, nothing else, but just the walkabouts.

This blog is a celebration of friendship, love, life and most importantly the experiences we've had together since June 2007. We roamed the land together, and we soared through the sky together, so keep your eyes and hearts open, as we begin to scribble, scribble and scribble:)


M and N